Facing Fear

Is fear beneath a number of our problems?

After working with many different people with a variety of struggles, often there is a commonality beneath the presenting issue.  That commonality is fear.  It is obviously not the only experience at the core of an issue, but for many it is something that is not being addressed.  We don’t always know when we are afraid.  It is not always a pounding heart and tense chest.  The brain has many mechanisms to help us disconnect from fear when it is too overwhelming, and it can then turn into an often deceptive form of suffering.  When fear is left unattended it can rule our life, limit our love, strain our career, and wound the body.  Fear might be one reason you can’t sustain a relationship.  Or maybe it is the reason you are irritable all the time.  Or it could be the reason you can’t create what you need in your life professionally.  Or it might be the reason you feel unstable and crazy.  Or maybe it is showing up as an incredibly speedy mind.

We need new tools to face fear in ourselves.  We need help in acknowledging that we get afraid, sometimes terrified.  How many people actually feel they know how to work with fear to harness its energy, rather than run from it or pretend its not there?  We need to learn how to stare fear in the eyes to see what it actually is and how it can actually help us.

Here are some basic tips in working with fear:

  1. Identify what you are most afraid of.
  2. Feel it in the body, where is it, what shape is it, what color is it, what type of pain does it cause.
  3. When you are safe and alone, or in good company, allow yourself to express the felt sense of fear through conscious, healing movements.  Maybe that looks like squeezing your hands, or crawling into a corner and curling up in a ball. This is important in order to thaw out the freeze of fear, or to tame the fight and flight from fear.  In other words, don’t take it out on others or on yourself.
  4. Let the fear come out as sounds while staying connected to the fear.  Instead of shouting and yelling and impulsive expression, find the sound that represents the fear: maybe you need to growl or bark or moan in discomfort.
  5. Write about the fear as a character in a story.
  6. Journal about the fear.
  7. Ask for love.  Deep healing care.  Practice fully receiving.
  8. Take full responsibility for the fear you feel internally.
  9. Work hard at creating safe relationships and safe environments.
  10. If you are not in a safe environment and it is out of your control, trust your fear as a mechanism calling for change!
  11. Find someone who can help midwife you through this fundamental human experience.

“My work with Keith was profoundly eye opening. I had worked with other business coaches but he was the first one who was also a trained therapist. The knowledge and insight he offered met me in a very deep place to get honest about how I hold myself back and struggle to relate to my business. He spoke my language and even provided new language. I would continue working with Keith any chance I got and I highly recommend you try him as well!”

“Hiring Keith has provided tremendous value to my business. Although I have owned my business for 12 years, I had hit a low point. I was feeling unmotivated, my practice had shrunk, I was unsure whether to move onto a new career. Keith has provided me with incredible support, marketing and networking ideas and mostly importantly, a renewed passion. In the past 8 month, my practice has quadrupled. I highly recommend his coaching services.”

“I knew when I decided to go into private practice that I was going to need a lot of help, and I am so grateful to have worked with Keith as a business coach. With his guidance I was able to build a full and thriving practice in under one year. With patience, flexibility, compassion, and understanding, Keith helped me gain awareness of my resistance to business growth and how to move through the challenges. I can honestly say that without Keith’s knowledge and guidance, I would not be where I am today! Thank you Keith!”

“Keith has a remarkable ability to sense and shed light on the most important issues of a situation. He also has a refreshing humility, easily admitting when he doesn’t know something.  He is a deeply skilled and completely trustworthy guide/therapist/healer.”

“Keith lovingly and courageously shares his deep intuition, awareness, and wisdom with those around him.  His boldness in expressing his truth even when it’s difficult creates ripples of healing and wholeness.   Keith is a powerful psychotherapist and healer who is giving his potent gifts to our world.  I highly recommend working with this man.”

“Anchored in deep psychotherapeutic knowledge, intensive mindfulness training, somatic psychology skills and unconventional courage, Keith Kurlander is an exceptional therapist. I have experienced his true and unwavering embrace of darkness and light within the human psyche as both needed sides to one complex manifestation. I highly recommend Keith around any issues you feel alone in or confused by.”

“Over the past few years I’ve referred many college students to Keith for counseling services. Each student I’ve referred has returned to me with very similar reviews of him. They say that he was able to help them significantly improve their mental state, manage their emotions, decrease their anxiety and increase their overall well-being. Given the consistently positive feedback I’ve received, when I see a student in need of counseling, I do not hesitate to refer them to Keith.”

“Keith is, without a doubt, one of the most sensitive, courageous, and powerful therapists I know.  He has finely-tuned radar for seeing through the story, getting to the essence, and knowing what to do with it to serve his client’s awareness and growth.”

“Keith’s compassionate and gentle nature, coupled with an endless curiosity and piercing insight, are just some of the gifts he brings to his work with clients. Through his trusted intuition and skills in mindfulness and somatic therapies, he is able to skillfully guide one to their inner truth, cutting through the stories and helping to experience what is real in the moment. As both friend and colleague, I’ve had the opportunity to witness Keith’s power in facilitating healing and transformation - I recommend him with great enthusiasm.”

“Keith Kurlander embodies transformation and is helping envision a new paradigm of healing and personal growth. He is a deep friend and an extremely talented therapist who is willing to go well beyond conventional means to help people find wholeness. Keith’s relentless self-exploration gives him all the more credibility to serve others in a genuine way.”

“Having sat in many close circles with Keith for many years, I feel a deep trust and respect for the kind of love and insightful connection to others that he embodies. His skillful ways of being sensitive yet direct, clear yet humble, and gentle yet powerful creates a cauldron of integration and transformation for those willing to explore their edges with him by their side.”

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Please call or text 303-358-6259 or email keithkurlander@gmail.com for your free 15-minute consultation or to setup your first session.