What to Do When ‘I’m Sorry’ Doesn’t Work

The ongoing climate of relationships is typically affected most by how rifts are handled, either deepening bonds or fueling resentments. Often the reason resentment lingers is because the apology didn’t hit the spot. Successful apologies are a blend of respecting the other person’s subjective experience without judgment, and recognizing what we did to evoke it. Making things right again when we hurt the other person involves apologizing in a way that shows we see, understand, and care about his or her feelings and point of view. Using this approach and being aware of possible unconscious issues, we can restore peace and enhance our connection.

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