Boulder Psychotherapy Services by Keith Kurlander

Communication Is More Than Words

News — Sat, 19 May 2012 02:26:00 +0000

Research that began over 35 years ago identifies four core scales of behavior: 1) our approach to solving problems and challenges, 2) how we interact with and influence others, 3) our desire for steadiness and logical flow, and 4) our need for compliance or conscientiousness. Where we fall on these scales dictates our communication approach and behavioral style. We are naturally drawn to those with styles similar to our own, but problems can arise when we are dealing with people who have different styles. We can feel misunderstood or frustrated. Becoming more aware of our own preferred style can help us understand the differences.

Read the full article here: Communication Is More Than Words

Mother House, Boulder’s Home For Pregnant Women In Need, Celebrates 30 Years

News — Thu, 17 May 2012 23:48:00 +0000

Another article that highlights what others are doing in the Boulder, Colorado, area concerns Mother House, founded in the 1980’s by local women who volunteered to take homeless pregnant women into their homes. Mother House provides a residence and resources for pregnant women at risk in Boulder County. Residents take responsibility for household chores. A “house mother” is on site for the evening and night time hours. Living together gives residents a chance to build relationships and learn to live in community. “Kindness and respect” is the number one rule. Prospective residents are interviewed, sign a contract, and must work or attend school while they live at Mother House.

Read the full article here: Mother House, Boulder’s Home For Pregnant Women In Need, Celebrates 30 Years

George Zimmerman And The Rush To Judgment

News — Wed, 16 May 2012 19:29:00 +0000

Although George Zimmerman has yet to face a jury, many people have already judged his guilt or innocence. Zimmerman is facing charges of second-degree murder for fatally shooting Trayvon Martin in Florida on February 26th. Psychologists say rushing to judgment is part of being human; we do it to help make sense of things. In his book, “Thinking, Fast And Slow”, Daniel Khaneman shows that the brain has a tendency to function in two ways. Fast thinking is the intuitive, emotional gut reaction, and slow thinking is the deliberate, rational thinking that takes facts and perspectives into account.

Read the full article here: George Zimmerman And The Rush To Judgment

Simple Ways To Build Your Baby’s Self-Esteem

News — Sat, 12 May 2012 20:54:00 +0000

An important goal for parents is to raise their children to feel good about themselves. Having a positive self-esteem helps children get along better in life. You don’t have to be perfect to accomplish this goal; there are several simple things you can do. 1. Smile at your baby often. Your face is a mirror of his self-worth. 2. Spend time with her. Your child internalizes the good feelings she gets when you spend time with her. 3. Praise your baby and his accomplishments often. Telling him “Good job” fosters his self-confidence. 4. Choose your words carefully when you speak with your child. Be positive.

Read the full article here: Simple Ways To Build Your Baby’s Self-Esteem

Mindfulness And The Military: Does Self-Acceptance Help Veterans?

News — Fri, 11 May 2012 20:25:00 +0000

For veterans suffering from Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), a recent article in the “Journal of Clinical Psychology” offered good news. Engaging in mindfulness—based stress reduction (MBSR) reduced soldiers’ symptoms of PTSD in six months. Of the veterans studied, 47% showed clinically significant improvements in their symptoms. Mindfulness meditation, derived from Buddhist practices, is devoted to enhancing our ability to focus our attention. It was developed to cope with human suffering by nurturing calmness and achieving self-acceptance. There are four components to this self-acceptance: commitment, awareness, willingness to experience emotional distress and attention to the present moment. These practices reduce stress and increase well-being.

Read the full article here: Mindfulness And The Military: Does Self-Acceptance Help Veterans?

Your Bed, Shower And Car: 3 Places To Find Peace Every Day

News — Wed, 09 May 2012 00:22:00 +0000

You’re busy, stressed and juggling far too many obligations. With all you have to do, who has time to relax? You do! In her recent book, “Shortcuts To Inner Peace”, Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW, recommends a variety of mindfulness techniques to do in your bed, during your shower, and while you commute to work. Utilizing one or more of these techniques every day will quiet your mind, allow you to cultivate gratitude, and help you relax your way to bliss. Practicing these techniques during the time you spend doing everyday activities gives everyone time to relax every day.

Read the full article here: Your Bed, Shower And Car: 3 Places To Find Peace Every Day

When it comes to emotions the mind can do funny things

Keith — Thu, 03 May 2012 21:55:32 +0000

The mind can make a mess of emotions or lead us to a sense of deeper fulfillment

Most people tend to carry around some version of a chronic “negative” emotion. The emotion might show up every day for some, or come in cycles, or sporadically. Some examples of chronic “negative” emotional experiences that clients discuss are boredom, depression, low motivation, sadness, irritability, low confidence, anger, loneliness, co-dependency, etc. When a client comes into the office I often explore with them how they react to these emotions. There are many types of internal reactions such as trying to push an emotion away. distracting oneself, absorption into it, hating it, wishing it would go away, pretending it’s not there, or feeling flooded by the energy of the emotion.

Strangely, our culture has trained us to somehow create a problem out of “negative” emotions, when really “negative” emotions might not actually be a problem in and of itself. Emotions have a natural course of moving through the body and changing. They actually don’t tend to stay around very long when we are able to learn how to not react in certain ways to them. Emotion can be thought of as energy in motion (e-motion). Our mind has the capacity to redirect that energy, stop it, change it, and even cause it to stay. Learning to be with the natural flow of emotion is kind of an art form, but it is also very simple. In time a wide range of emotion that is naturally flowing becomes more fulfilling than troublesome. The natural flow of emotions is really just an expression of our life force. But if you are like me, it takes some practice to learn how to experience a wide range of emotion and feel the life force behind it. It seems the default way with “negative” emotions was to make them a problem and sometimes even create a mess in our life because of them. I think it is time for a new way of experiencing emotion. A way that can include things that might appear at first to be troublesome, but really can lead to a deeper sense of liveliness.

Addiction Group in Boulder

Keith — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 22:34:54 +0000

ADDICTION RECOVERY GROUP:
A NEW KIND OF GROUP FOR DEEPER RECOVERY

In this 12 week addiction recovery group, we will harness the power of the group to support you in making big leaps in your recovery process. Utilizing therapy methods, council, ritual, meditation, contemplative frameworks, body awareness exercises, and group engagement, we will look at the roots of addiction, relationship to self and other, and how to use recovery as an evolutionary process. This group is best suited for individuals who have at least three months of sobriety and feel they are ready to dive deep in a supportive environment. I have taken individuals in the past who are actively using if they are ready to commit to sobriety during the group. This group will not utilize the 12 step model, although that is not discouraged in any way. Participants may find that this group is a powerful supplement to a twelve-step journey.
When: Tuesdays, 5:00-6:30
Duration:12 Weeks
Start Date: TBD

Social Anxiety Group

Keith — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 18:46:27 +0000

Heal the Fear. Transform your Life.

When: Mondays, 4:30-6:00
Duration: 12 weeks
Start Date: TBD

In this 12 week social anxiety group, we will harness the power of the group to support you in making big leaps in learning how to connect with other people Utilizing therapeutic methods, body awareness exercises, group engagement, and other avenues we will help you identify the roots of social anxiety, and create a deeply supportive and safe container to experiment in connecting with others. This group is best suited for individuals who struggle with one or more of the following: socializing in group settings, fear in public, social anxiety at work, meeting friends, or finding romantic relationships.

CALL KEITH AT 303.358.6259 FOR MORE DETAILS

Finding Comfort in the Body

Keith — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 18:41:52 +0000

Locating Comfort in the Body is Sometimes Tricky Business

As important as it is to have the capacity to be with painful emotions and difficult experiences, it is equally as important to have the capacity to locate comfort in the body. All too often, people find themselves in extremes on this threshold. Either they seek pleasure and only pleasure, avoid pain at all costs, or they find themselves inundated by pain, unable to soothe.

I have learned that no matter how difficult life can feel, there is always a reference point of comfort somewhere within the body. That reference point might be a relaxed muscle, or a cool sensation, or the strength of you legs, or the tip of your toe, or the sensation of breath on the nose. Somewhere comfort always exists. Locating comfort is as much of an art form as painting. You have to work with and pay attention to a bunch of colors, or in this case layers of the internal experience, in order to find it.

A good exercise is the next time something feels overwhelming and it is too difficult to process the energy, simply start locating comfort in the body. Scan the body with your attention from the top of the head to the feet and toes. Work at not thinking through it, but really feeling each body part externally and internally and witnessing what is comforting. You might find that as you locate comfort the difficult emotion or experience you are having lowers in intensity to a level that it is more workable.