So often, it seems we want to “settle the score,” which means getting revenge, or payback. We want the other person to feel as we have felt, but it really doesn’t have anything to do with evenness at all. It is, in fact, a highly charged emotional reaction that overtakes our basic intelligence, our basic wisdom. We all have this wisdom, and can use it as a tool of peacemaking, as well as a tool of happiness. Unfortunately, this intelligence is obscured by emotional reactivity, when our experience becomes more about self than about other. We should not reject or indulge in this emotional energy, but instead come to know it.
Read the entire article here: Are You Trying to “Settle the Score”?